This Tip explains that people don’t keep new year resolutions, and that there are reasons why it helps to make anti-resolutions.
“My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.” Nia Vardalos
Welcome to 2018. I hope it is kind to you.
The media strongly encourages us to make positive changes in our lives in the shape of New Year’s resolutions. But Stephanie Vozza believes that the resolutions we make only reflect what we think we should do. They do not reflect what we truly desire and are willing to put in the work to make happen. As a result, most resolutions are unrealistic and almost immediately forgotten.
Ms. Vozza’s offers an alternative in her article: Why You Should Make An Anti-Resolution List (And What To Put On It). She quotes Kate Hanley, the author of How to Be a Better Person, who provides the rationale: “Making an anti-resolution list gives you an opportunity to identify some of the ways you’ve been making your own life harder. Then use that awareness to stop doing (at least one of) those things.” why-you-should-make-an-anti-resolution-list-and-what-to-put-on it?
According to Mike Vardy, the author of The Front Nine: How to Start the Year You Want Anytime You Want, anti-resolutions are similar to Lent, when people give up something.
To start us off, Ms. Vozza lists nine behaviors to stop doing: Stop
- biting your tongue.
- working with bad clients.
- using disclaimers.
- making excuses.
- feeling guilty.
- putting off work that needs to be done.
- overcommitting.
- spending time on social media.
- rehearsing unhappiness.
However, her suggestions seem very general. This is contrary to Mr. Varda’s recommendation that it is better to say: “I will not eat fast food ” instead of: “I will make healthier eating choices.” As he explains: “It’s more specific. And we all know what the end result will be.”
So, in the interest of specificity, here are a few of my anti-resolutions, in no particular order:,I will not forget to:
1.Back up everything I put on iTunes. (I just spent an entire week uploading approximately 600 CDs to iTunes. This is because I discovered that something erased all of the songs on iTunes and on my iPod that I had uploaded over 30 years . The silver lining: I now know all of the music I own. As a result, I can be much more creative playing music at training programs.)
2.Make time to have a real breakfast. (When I do, I get very cranky and eat much more the rest of the day.)
3. Wear a hat when it is cold outside. (If my hairdo looks pretty good, I hate flattening it under a hat. But -11°F trumps vanity any day!)
4.Eat a meal instead of chocolate for breakfast, lunch or supper. (Yes, it definitely calls my name, but it is also definitely not a meal.)
5.Look up, down and straight ahead when trying to find something on a shelf. (It is such a waste of time and so humiliating when I can’t find something that is right in front of my face, even though I have my glasses on!)
6. Stop and give my geriatric cat attention when he yowls. (He’s old and decrepit and yowls when he is scared, hungry, craving attention, using the litter box…)
7.Actively market my services instead of waiting for something to happen. (If I’m passive, there will be no passive or active income.)
8.Stop and stretch every hour when I work on the computer. (I’ve been known to work nonstop for hours. This is incredibly hard on my eyes, my back, and my general health.)
9. Walk for at least 10 minutes a day. (I’ve got to start somewhere…)
I’m sure there are many more things I want to stop, but these nine are the first that came to mind.
So, will you make resolutions, make anti-resolutions, or forget the whole thing?
May your learning be sweet.
Deborah
