Tip #68: Manage the Complainer

This Tip looks at how a trainer can manage the complainer to participate constructively in a training program.

Difficult Behavior:

Complains about anything and everything, including: the room, materials, topics, instructor, organization, weather, refreshments, etc. Focus is on what is wrong or bad rather than on what is right or good.

What a Trainer Can Do:

In front of the group:

  • Acknowledge the validity of the complaint;
  • Apologize for the inconvenience;
  • Determine the desired remedy;
  • Indicate what will be done to address it (if anything can be done);
  • Identify the time necessary to implement the resolution;
  • Thank the person for bringing up the issue;
  • Initiate action to resolve the issue; and
  • Move on.

If the complaint is not valid:

  • Apologize for the person’s distress.
  • Clarify your distance from the decision that generated the complaint.
  • Explain that the desired recourse is not possible.
  • Use humor to defuse the situation.
  • Avoid getting personal.
  • Refer the issue to the rest of the group, to show that the concern is not shared.
  • Pretend not to hear him/her.
  • Set rules: criticism is acceptable, as long as it is constructive and offers viable alternatives.

If the complainer may be a spokesperson for the group:

  • Determine whether the person is alone in his or her thinking, or if others feel the same way.
  • If others agree, it may be appropriate to say:” I am not here to defend the content. I am here to explain it and teach you how to use it.”
  • At other times, it may be appropriate to allow a limited amount of time for group venting or for posting constructive recommendations from the group.

In private:

  • Provide constructive feedback about the impact of the behavior on the session, the participants, and/or the trainer.
  • Coach the person to select more constructive behavior.
  • Co-opt the person- ask for his or her assistance.
  • Discuss the true source of the individual’s complaint.
  • Ask if the person is willing to let the other participants learn.
  • If necessary, indicate that the person is free to leave the session.

What a Trainer Should NOT Do:

  • Argue with the person.
  • Insult the person.
  • Get defensive.
  • Express anger.
  • Let the person control the discussion.
  • Agree with the complainer just to end the argument, if that will mislead other participants.

Real Life Example:

Generally, I have found that complainers approach me privately during the break, rather than in front of the group. Their complaints are usually related to their workload, circumstances, or supervisor. I have found that giving them my sincere attention and actively listening to them tends to satisfy them. Sometimes, they complain about hygiene factors (room temperature, availability of certain beverages, etc.)- which I may occasionally be able to address. In those instances, I acknowledge their concern and indicate what I can and will do to address it. Otherwise, I simply sympathize and ask if there is anything else we might do to make them more comfortable.

Commentary:

When confronted with any difficult behavior, we need to be able to step back and objectively assess what might be the root cause of the behavior. Why would someone complain?

If the complaint is valid, there probably is some workload or organizational issue that is distressing. The person needs to vent and the trainer is a relatively safe person.

If the complaint is not valid, the person is probably feeling victimized and outraged by something and needs to let off steam. It is important to treat the person with respect but put clear limits on the person’s ability to express those complaints.

I recently learned a wonderful technique to minimize disruption. Hand each participant 3 poker chips at the beginning of the session. Indicate that they may vent three times for 30 seconds at a time, handing in a chip for each venting session. Once the participant has used up his or her poker chips, s/he may not complain any more.

A variation on this is to give each person 2 cents and indicate that s/he can put his or her “two cents’ worth” into a discussion for 30 seconds. Again, once the 2 cents have been handed to the trainer, that person has no further opportunities to complain.

Obviously, you can create your own rules and process. Just make sure to be clear about the rules at the beginning of the session and implement them consistently.

If your trainers would benefit from learning how to manage a classroom and different difficult participant behaviors, please book a call to discuss a tailored train-the-trainer program. https://laureandassociates.com/contact/

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