This Tip discusses how hr managers can handle it when employee conflicts are affecting morale, productivity, and the work environment.
Are Employee Conflicts Getting on Your Last Nerve?
As a human resources manager, you’re probably getting very tired of hearing minor employee complaints about other employees:
- “Fran keeps interrupting me when I’m speaking.”
- “Jim never listens to me, so I’ve stopped speaking up in staff meetings.“
- “Sally constantly invades my personal space, which stresses me out.“
- “John always takes credit for my work when we work together.”
- “Joan hoards information until the very last minute I need it.”
- “Vince is so rude. He always ignores my suggestions, so I don’t want to make them anymore.”
These are minor in comparison to other more serious workplace issues. However, they are already having an impact on morale, productivity, and the work environment.
It would be nice if all employees played well in the sandbox. Or if they felt comfortable enough to bring these issues to their managers. But they don’t.
So, what can you do?
Treat Them as Adults
Ask the complainer if they have spoken with the other employee about their concern.
If they haven’t, send them on their way to do just that. They are adults. As adults, th should take responsibility for their needs.
They Should Have a Goal
However, you may need to be sure they are clear about their intended goal in having the conversation.
It has to be more than simply to repeat the complaint. Their goal should be resolution of the issue.
Also suggest how they should initiate the conversation. They don’t want to make the other employee defensive or more defensive. That will just make things worse.
Use Non Defensive Language
A useful piece of advice is for them to use a proven non defensive communication formula:
“I feel (emotion) when someone does x. When that happens, I (resulting action).”
Some people are more comfortable when they have a formula to follow. It helps them get over the hump of trying to figure out what to say.
Notice, the sentence intentionally doesn’t include “when you do” something. We want to avoid any finger pointing that will stir greater emotion.
Focus on Mutual Interests
Let’s say that the complainer has tried working it out with the other employee.
Unfortunately, they failed to reach some resolution.
In this case, you will have to mediate.
Meet with each employee separately to discover their interests and needs.
Then bring both employees together to allow each to voice their interests in the situation.
You may want to counsel them to put past negative history aside for this conversation.
To the extent possible, get them to list and agree to some mutual interests.
For example, it is likely that they both want to:
- be treated with respect,
- be able to perform their jobs,
- do a good job, and
- have a comfortable stress-free work environment, etc.
Once they have agreed on mutual interests, they may be more open to a more objective discussion.
Help them reach a resolution that both can accept. The bottom line is that the current situation can no longer continue.
Thank them for their cooperation.
Remind them to try to work through issues together in the future.
Rules of Engagement
To avoid getting continually sucked into these complaints, speak with your managers.
Encourage them to work with their employees to develop rules of engagement for the team or unit.
These should be things that all the employees agree to and are willing to sign.
They may include, among other things, such requirements as:
- treating each other with respect,
- actively participating in meetings,
- following through on commitments, and
- working things out directly with each other when there is a problem.
Rules of engagement provide support for both the manager and the employees to openly address behavior that is counter to the rules.
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May your learning be sweet,
Deborah
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