“In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.” Nhat Hanh
Unresolved interpersonal conflict can be characterized as a duel (where the goal is to win) rather than a dialogue (where the goal is a give and take of information).
In the conflict, the individuals hold on to very different ideas, or positions. They are aware of what the other party wants because it is typically the opposite of what s/he wants.
This stalemate will not be broken until the opponents depersonalize the conflict so they can engage in dialogue to uncover the reasons, or interests, that have led to their respective positions. To achieve this understanding, the individuals will need to ask each other questions and actively listen to … Read the rest
“Criticism should be a casual conversation.“ W. H. Auden
A win/win problem-solving model for providing constructive criticism can be used to effectively discuss and resolve disagreements in coaching, performance appraisal, conflict resolution, and general feedback sessions. This model is particularly effective for individuals who are uncomfortable expressing conflict, criticism, or anger.
There are three major reasons for the effectiveness of the following win/win problem-solving model. First, it begins with a supportive statement, which makes it easier to initiate the conversation. Second, it establishes a mutual problem- solving dialogue, which is a more comfortable form of communication. Third, it places the focus on the problem, which directs it away from the individuals involved.
1. Begin with a supportive or neutral … Read the rest